Johnny Vincent Gets Banned From Youtube
by rockshocka4223
Summary: Johnny Vincent really loves his computer that he received on his birthday. Whoever knew that a greaseball like himself would actually appreciate technology? And even though he depends on the internet for his problems, the internet can't deal with him.


The Tenements were dark and musty as usual whenever Johnny Vincent came in for the night. The air smelled like mold and dust covered every speck of furnature just as it always did, seeing as how nobody even bothered to clean around there. Even Johnny's computer was always covered in dust; the only reason he'd ever clean it was because his good friend Peanut Romano often warned him about the dangers of creating likely fire hazards due to laziness. But, even then did he only clean it whenever he was constantly nagged to do so. Not that it mattered, anyway; it still worked like a charm except the fact that he could only afford a dial-up internet connection for it.

So after a long day of beating the heavily groomed asses of Gord Vendome and Bif Taylor, Johnny decided to just call it a night and head back to his hideout so he could check how many new comments he had recieved on his videos on Youtube. He had become a very avid member of Youtube ever since his 18th birthday and almost never went a day without uploading any videos online. He was thankful that Ricky had bought him the computer with it's own monitor while Johnny, himself, had stolen his filming equipment from one of the nerds dressed up as a warlock in the Town of Bullworth's Comic Store. Together, all these technological items seemed to very easily replace Lola ever since his and her break-up the same day he recieved these presents.

After the computer finally came on, the king greaser clicked on the little icon with the two computers and waited for the dialog box asking if he wanted to connect to pop up. Once it popped up, he quickly clicked the "Connect" button without any hestiation and listened to the god awfully sounded noises the phone line always made.

_Errrrrrrra..aaaa..aaage....eeeeeeee...beep..beep..rgggggggggggggggggggg...._

Once the two little computers appeared at the bottom of his screen, Johnny clicked on to Internet Explorer, clicked on to his bookmarks, located Youtube and clicked it. The king rested his cheek on top of his right palm as he waited for the page to load. Sure, it was so easy for the preps to order high speed internet and everyone else to at least be able to afford the shittiest package deal for Hughes Net. But, for greasers such as himself and his friends whose parents could barely even afford to send their children to school while his own parents were in jail because of all the drug money they used to send him to Bullworth, high speed internet wasn't an option for these poorer students. Maybe Johnny would've been able to afford better internet if his old man had married his sister.

Once Youtube finally loaded seven minutes later, Johnny clicked on the "log in" link on top of the page. Another seven minutes passed by before the internet would allow him to sign in. Once the said page finally did load, the greaser repeated every letter of his username as he typed. "X....x...x....King......Pin....x...x...X." Then went click onto the password box and did the same thing. "Lola.......Lombardi.......4.....ever." He clicked 'log in" and, surprisingly, then next page loaded up pretty quickly.

_Invalid username or password. Please try again._

Johnny groaned and repeated his steps again. How he hated having to log in to sites for a second time because the websites _think_ he typed in the wrong information. He clicked "log in" again and the same thing as before happened; the page loaded up quickly and this came up:

_Invalid username or password. Please try again._

_"What the fuck, Youtube?" _Johnny bit his lip as he, once again, typed in his information into the two boxes. Then....log in and:

_Invalid username or password. Please try again._

_"You're really starting to piss me off, computer."_ Type, type, click, and:

_Invalid username or password. Please try again._

_"WHAT THE SHIT?!" _The king greaser was begining to pull his hair after he, once again, typed in his information and the page loaded up as:

_Invalid username or password. Please try again._

Johnny began to spurt his anger out of his mouth rather than his mind. "What the matter is wrong with you, Youtube?!" Repeat steps and:

_Invalid username or password. Please try again._

Johnny slapped his monitor, almost knocking it off his desk. He repositioned the screen and clicked Youtube again on his bookmarks. "I'm gonna figure out what's going on around here...." After waiting about ten minutes, the Youtube homepage loaded back up and Johnny typed in "XxxKingPinxxX" in the search bar. The result page finally loaded after nine impatient minutes and Johnny clicked his username, which was the very first thing to pop up on the page. Like the "_Invalid username or password. Please try again._" pages, the next page loaded up quickly, but the contents of the page just about made Johnny's heart stop.

_User "XxxKingPinxxX" has been permenately banned for uploading offensive content._

Let's just say the entire Tenements awoke and would have very much trouble getting back to sleep as the king slapped his desk, screamed, threw his chair over, and continued to punch the fragile walls of his room. "HOW COULD YOU _DO_ THIS TO MEEEEEE?!?" Johnny picked up his keyboard and slammed it against the wall, pulling the computer with it. Successfully awakened by this temper tandrum. Peanut came running into the room, shouting, "What the _HELL_ is goin' on, Johnny?!" Johnny stomped over to his best friend and pointed at his desk.

"Youtube fuckin' BANNED me from it!!" Peanut's facial expression calmed down upon hearing the news and he proceeded to perform the perfect example of a facepalm towards his best friend and leader. "Is that _all_?" Johnny nodded his head like an excited dog. "Yeah, the goddamn site said that I've been banned for postin' "offensive" material!" Peanut rubbed his forehead and commented with, "I ain't surprised at all, boss."

Johnny's face dropped. "Why, Larry?" Peanut crossed his arms and looked down. The king of greasers's forehead repositioned his eyes to a V'ish shape as he stepped closer to his second in command. "Why the _fuck_ did I get banned, Peanut?!"

Larry Romano looked up at his friend and motioned his right index finger for Johnny to come forward. "Follow me for a sec, John." Johnny Vincent did as he was told and followed Peanut as the younger greaser walked more into his room and straightened up everything Johnny had messed up in his fiery tirade. Once everything was fixed up, Peanut sat in Johnny's rolling chair and minimized Internet Explorer.

He moved the cursor over the "start" button on the bottom left of the screen and clicked on it. Once the list popped up, he clicked on "My Documents" and then clicked on the "My Videos" folder. Peanut knew Johnny well enough to know that Johnny always kept back-ups for his files just in case one of them corrupted or he accidently deleted them from his hard drive. About 47 video files came up and Peanut turned around in his chair to look up at Johnny.

"Johnny, I'm about to let you know more than likely why you got yourself banned. But I'm gonna let you know by showing you some of your videos." Johnny scratched his head and said, "Oh....kay?" Peanut slowly turned back to the computer screen and clicked on the video filed entitled "Tales of lost man". The video started off with Johnny sitting in his chair, looking at the camera with a rather melancholy expression on his mug.

_"Yo, Youtube. Today I'm gonna talk to you about why you should never date a woman. She'll tear your heart out stomp on it like it's nothin' more than a cockroach that stumbled upon your kitchen. Wanna know why, 'tube? *slams desk" BECAUSE SHE'S A FUCKIN' WHORE!! She don't care about you or your needs; she justs wanna go around and FUCK every GODDAMN PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT IN YOUR SCHOOL!! *contiunes to throw things around the room" .......she needs to go crawl in a fuckin' hole and DIE...."_

Peanut x'ed out of the video after that part ended and looked up at Johnny. "I don't get it, Larry." Johnny's second in command sighed. "Then how 'bout this one?" He clicked on another video that was called "To all you single men".

_"I don't wanna be single; do you, Youtube? Well guess what, fans........I'M FUCKING SINGLE. Wanna know why? My FUCKIN' slut, Lola, left my ass on MY GODDAMN BIRTHDAY! *smashes his keyboard onto the floor*"_

Larry x'ed out early again and clicked on another file. "Or how 'bout this one?"

_"See this, Youtube? *holds out a voodoo made to look like Lola* This is my lovely girlfriend, Lola Lombardi. She left me on my 18th birthday because I wasn't there for her. She's such a cutie, ain't she? *grabs a knife and continues to stab the doll's face and body*"_

X-out. Peanut clicked on one more and said, "_This_ one's _my_ favorite."

_"*Love Bites by Def Leppard plays in the background while Johnny sings along with the song*_

_When you make love, do you look in the mirror?_

_Who do you think of, does he look like me?_

_Do you tell lies and say that it's forever?_

_Do you think twice, or just touch 'n' see?_

_Ooh babe ooh yeah_

_When you're alone, do you let go?_

_Are you wild 'n' willin' or is it just for show?_

_Ooh c'mon_

_I don't wanna touch you too much baby_

_'Cos making love to you might drive me crazy_

_I know you think that love is the way you make it_

_So I don't wanna be there when you decide to break it_

_No!_

_Love bites, love bleeds_

_It's bringin' me to my knees_

_Love lives, love dies_

_It's no surprise_

_Love begs, love pleads_

_It's what I need"_

Once again, Larry x'ed out of the video early and turned to face Johnny. Johnny kept the same facial expression he'd sported before. "Ah c'mon, Larry. Nobody cares about those videos!" "Yeah they do, Johnny." The king let out a harsh chuckle and retorted back with, "Prove it, then." Peanut frowned. "Remember your Youtube account?" Johnny rolled his eyes and replied with, "You been paying any attention _at all_, Peanut? I told you before, it got banned."

Larry facepalmed himself again and said, "_No_...I meant your _other_ account." Johnny just tilted his head. "Ya know, the one you made just in case your primary one got hacked? The one that has all the exact same videos as your primary account?" Johnny let out a silent "Ooooh" as Peanut maximized Youtube again. He clicked on the "log in" button and the two boys waited for it to load.

Luckily, Larry had memorized Johnny's 2nd account's information because there was one day that Johnny decided to trust him and him only so he could check it for him every now and then. Larry loved his friend to death, but he could be very annoying with his paranoia towards everything directed towards him. Whenever the page loaded, Peanut quickly signed in as Johnny's other account and clicked "log in". After a very long time of waiting for all the following pages to load, Peanut finally managed to make it to one of the mule's back-up videos and paused it. He scrolled down and showed Johnny all the following comments:

_sprtemasta3345 (14 minutes ago) Reply 0_

_wtf_

_PrincessGreed (1 day ago) Reply +7_

_You're kind of a stalker, you know that?_

_LINKMAHBOI65750 (1 day ago) Reply +4_

_I love it when he says "She's a SLUT."_

_Yannny14 (3 days ago) Reply +8_

_What the fuck is this shit?_

_Shitbust00 (1 week ago) Reply -1_

_LOL!!!!!11_

_Grandmateraplh (1 week ago) Reply +10_

_Awww, did somebody not get laid today?_

Johnny slammed his fist on the desk. "_Why_ I OUGHTA-" "Cool it, Johnny." Peanut put his hand on his friend's shoulder and rubbed gently. Johnny took a deep breath and looked away. "What am I gonna do, Larry? Look I've become without my Lola, my queen." The second in command's heart sank upon hearing these words, but all he could do in response was sign and say, "You don't need her, boss. You're capable of doin' so much more witout her. She'll look back one day and say, "Wow, I really fucked up letting him go." and you'll know then that you never needed her to begin with." Johnny smiled and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Thank you, man. Don't know what I'd ever do without you." Larry smiled back as caught himself staring at his bosses' eyes. "Well, I'm goin' to bed, Johnny." "Alright, Larry. Night." "Night." And Larry exited Johnny's room with _Love Bites_ stuck in his head.

"f you've got love in your sights

Watch out, love bites

Yes it does

It will be hell"

* * *

I just felt like making a lulzy fic today. XD None of the Youtube names are real, though. I just made them up. D: Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed!! :D


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